Is there life after extreme disappointment, heartbreaking suck-you-dry expectation that went awry?
I have to hold onto a distinct possibility that nothing is real.
That holds me to the spot of everything will be alright. You are out there. My family is present. All of the people I care about are connected.
Those things are real.
I’m on Course, then suddenly, in one flash communication, I am not.
Spinning out like Sandra Bullock in Gravity. Creatively out of control, spiraling into the oblivion of "I’m screwed." Taken out of the game by someone else’s decision. Wrenched from "Life is Grand" to …"What’s the Point" (Again?)
My blank face passes in the mirror, image smeared and distorted with Grief. Sadness, Frustration, ineptness, disgust, despair, awe. That THIS is happening. "NO, It can’t be!”
Is there a God, a Universal Presence, Greater than me, OZ, Infinite Wisdom, Grace, Profound Inspiration, Buddha, Allah?
If so, What the Hell?
I take my Self outside. Run the dog until we are both weak in the knees and staggering like a coupla drunk teens.
Breath, yes, still breathing.
Blood is pumping.
Air circulating.
Things happening inside my body that I have absolutely no control over either.
all I can do is cry, breathe, spit, scream, terrorize the keyboard with my words ...
And POST.
There is no alternative to acceptance.