The Oh Whoa Is Me's were descending upon my physical body late last night. They just floated down from who knows where and seemingly ignored Overwhelm in the aftermath.
I generally take a gander at my budget the last week of the month, knowing I have seven productive days remaining, to generate what I want on the income side.
As I laid it out the books, reviewed the week, then scan each day, checking the corresponding calendar, my heart sunk and lodged itself somewhere between Dread and Fret (you may know of them from a past post.) I felt short of breath, a bit jilted, like every year before, during, and after Prom. Tears start to well-up and I canter forward into Down In The Dumps rapidly.
I've been in Portland for a year. The number of networking meetings, marketing emails, providing free or low-cost classes loom on the Aren't You Great! side of the chart.
Yet, the Numbers Game to the right of that, certainly seems to represent my acceptance, accountability, responsibility to my Self - Meager and Sad.
Life isn't going how I expected in Maine. I wake up in the morning thinking about my business and lie awake at night, you guessed it, thinking about my business, and profits, and invoices, and goals, budget, Roth IRA Statements, and such.
"I only COUNT when I am productive." This is the message I got as a child, in my own little feeble brain, that sponged-up my interpretation. Somewhere along the line, I decided productivity should equate monetary gain. The more I give, do, and act on, the more I should get.
Hm.
What chapter of which book did I derive that from?
After a big deep breath, I look at my calendar a little more closely.
Lunch with a good friend whom I haven't seen for awhile on a Wednesday.
Coffee date with a networking group who chortles and commiserates while strolling along the waterfront.
Outdoor music events once a week with new buddies at the park.
A dinner out at a new budding hole-in-the-wall restaurant.
Webinars feed my entrepreneurial spirit with great tips and tricks.
Many conversations scheduled throughout the weekdays, sharing strategies - getting to know one another better.
Numerous dog walks in the woods, at the beach, skirting unfamiliar neighborhoods, and shady walkways.
If FUN equalled PRODUCTIVITY, then I'm there more often than not. If I had to guess, it's upwards of 92%.
How do we evaluate a job well done?
Can it be something other than the bank deposit slip at the end of the day?
If you can to the same conclusion as I did....YES!!
I really need to just keep in mind that I am covered, I got this, I'm happy with where I am on the scale of the SUCCESS QUOTIENT.
People will remember me and my services, when the time comes to refer business.
I have to trust this is the right road, the path I'm s'pozed to be on, and I just need to bring a snack and enjoy!
(Share if you care!)