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Writer's picturePaula F. Hill

The Gift of crippling hip pain.


I woke up not being able to put any weight on my left leg yesterday.

What the hell?

I didn't do any break dancing the night before (that I was aware of.)

Again, unless I was drugged, I don't participate in any devious back-wrenching sex positions or strenuous yoga, for that matter.

The hundred pound dog didn't step on me.

I have no idea where that pain came from nor how to get rid of it. But I did:

  • Swim ten laps in the pool.

  • Put a hot water bottle on the spot until the bag cooled and three "Chelsea" episodes were over.

  • Walked for 30 minutes with the dog.

  • Did stretches on the floor (hopefully the howling didn't disturb the upstairs neighbors.)

  • Took another dog for a 20 minute walk in the woods with up and down trails.

  • Ran through a series of leg lifts and side stretches.

  • Rolled my hip over a firm foam tube while watching a "How To" on YouTube.

Desperately called the Acupuncturist to get an appointment.

She fit me in.

Got stuck and lay prone for 30 minutes with lord knows how many needles inserted here and there.

I slept on the other "cheek" and put a pillow between my knees for support that next night.

All is well this morning.

I can thank my lucky stars I am young(ish,) healthy, feeling so wonderful, and free of pain, suffering, beyond agonizing steps, this overcast day.

I smile at everyone I pass on the street. I greet them with a cheery "Hello," call friends, send upbeat emails, post a letter in the mail telling them I'm sorry (for whatever I did in the past that hurt their feelings.) I rejoice in the day, week, month, year, of my present and future feeling good life.

I'm reminded, once again, I am NOT my circumstances.

I am not Pain. I am not Crippled. I am not Grumpy or Crabby or a Whiner.

I am free to change my mind at any given time. Free to alter the extreme fear of my situation, the current condition, the scene, feelings of inadequacy or even being small.

I can see this circumstance, whatever it may appear to be, as something I'm currently dealing with, a reminder of who I am in the world, and how I handle the things that could tip my scale from one end to the other.

And I give THANKS for the trigger.

What I learned from hip pain:

  • Don't be woo'd by your circumstances.

  • Don't bring things to a painful point.

  • Don't expect applause for your incredible insights.

  • Don't ponder them too much either.

Treat people with respect. Honor the courageous human beings they are, for we are really all in this together.

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