Underneath the fury, I find welled sadness, the state of struggle to maintain,
The minute I bring attention to the consequence of yesterday, the grief expands. Taking HOPE and dragging it along the jagged edges of an uneven sidewalk, cratered by tree roots, up and down, laughing at the tripping and startled neighbors.
I slip on the leaves, that once held me powerfully - still in the trees, gracing the world with color and wonder. Now they paddle around, spin and shift to take me by surprise and slide my feet out from under.
Under the pressure of hatred, bullies, tyrants, racism, disrespect, disingenuous behavior, gnarled and ratty, deceptive and cunning.
It's all wrapped up in red, the outlines of familiar shapes that, before yesterday, were cousins, friends, comrades of the road, peeps and kindred spirits. Now they are ugly ruins of relationships. I distrust them.
They ignored the patterns. They shed their benevolence and generosity. They caved. And now I De-Friend them 'cause I can't stand the sight of their ego. Their disreputable lure of despondency.
Can I catch my Self?
Am I willing to "let live?"
Are the days ahead going to be different than before? Compassionate, and willing, and supportive?
Not sure.
I could be wrong about them. It's feasible.
But my heart was so set on The Possibility. Movement forward, standing together.
Not apart.
Not jabbing.
Not kicking.
And tossing dirty words.
Not shaming.
Not lacking respect and honor.
Here we are NAKED. Gathered.
At rest.
Until the next day.
Undone.