Did your "almost adult" child move out and leave you with their plethora of stuff? Sports equipment, school papers, smelly socks under the bed, glittery lip gloss, pictures from prom, awards, metals, yearbooks, outgrown clothes, text books, dog-eared journals, stashes of partial deodorant sticks, acne cream, hair color, goopy nail polish, bunched halloween costumes, fancy dresses, used tissues, and loads of memories.
Why won't THEY clear out their stuff?
Kids have their own agenda.
They resist.
They know it means SO much to you, to keep that picture they drew in first grade, that clay “elephant” blob you designed, the jeans they bought for you the last time at the Mall and then they stole 'em.
Things they couldn't cram into their bags to go to college, Europe, move across town or on the other side of the country to realize their dreams are left to their own devices.
You genuinely want to help them. You really love them. AND you are choosing to clean up your home and need the excess stuff out.
Be the example. Easier said than done, I know! When they see you reflect back what you’re asking them to do, it is WAY easier. Start by clearing out your own goodies. Simplify. Get into the ZEN of it.
Tell them the stories about where your stuff went, your process, your issues and challenges. Share YOU. And see what happens behind their bedroom door. Be the change.
I understand it feels counterintuitive. You may feel it's completely disempowering, to "give in" (again.) So much depends upon US, and our own drama. We believe their room reflects who we are as parents. It doesn't. Hate to say, this isn't about you.
Forgive your Self for feeling the conflict. Start your projects, begin the conversation with them (share your process.)
You'll end up being more productive, happier, giddy even. They may suspect you've taken up a drug habit. It's just the endorphins kicking in. You're swept away by the changes around the house, your work, relationships, your world.
If you don't believe me, that's okay, just let me know what occurs. It is a BIG experiment.
Ready.
Go.