Fume with indignation every day I claim the mail from the box. No “Thank You very much” card emerges. I let it ruin yet another day. I listen to Voice Mail messages (at least once every three-to-four hours) expecting a “OMG Thank you!” to unravel themselves out from under the rambling client requests for service. I submerge into despair. Consider the time I took to choose the perfect presents, create the funniest surprises, and magical gifts and yet there is NO acknowledgment of them. Not a one. Yeegads!!
The holidays have been pretty low-key for me in the last five years. I’ve made agreements with several close friends NOT buy one another anything. It leaves me with very short Christmas and birthday lists. It frees-up my expenditures to focus on the multitude of bereavement contributions, wedding presents, donation checks and the rare new bambino/a gift. Consequently, when I do take the time, energy, and spend funds to participate in gift giving, I realize my expectations turn into hot spots that don’t heal well. They fester and ooze indignation.
I gnaw at them in desperation. Have to scratch the itch of exacerbated disturbance, even sorrow. I select a jury who’ll blare “GUILTY!” and determines a long sentence. The Judge offers a lengthy time in Solitary.
Wouldn’t THAT teach ‘em a lesson in Gratitude?
I do, in fact, love to take my time mulling over the recipient's personality, the very things I respect and admire them for, toss around their uniqueness and how they inspire me, and what they're MAD about in their lives - what gets their juices flowing. I jot a sincere note (whether they can read it or not is another story as my handwriting is questionable) and revel in the anticipation of the incredulous response.
Hm, who is this effort for, exactly...sounds like... ME. Perhaps I have the significance of GIFT in the wrong category. Instead of an OFFERING being light and carefree, it appears like a dread or foreboding. Expectation in the online dictionary states: "a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future." that STRONG BELIEF is getting me in a fix, I understand. The synonyms are just as insightful: "supposition, assumption, presumption, conjecture, surmise, calculation, prediction, hope." All of these imply the possibility, not probability or truth.
Oh, right, gratitude. I completely forgot my promise to feel grateful and happy for the people and things I have in my life. OOPS!!
So, let’s turn this thing around and honor the new and old friends, family, and people in general, who make my life worthwhile.
THANK YOU!!!
I also decide it would be a blast to pick a person, (whether I know them well or not one iota,) and gift them something. It is a great practice since most don’t have my address, and many would have to jump through a lot of hoops to get my phone number. I’m not participating in Social Media any longer so consequently I’m hard to track down. In other words, if that person wanted or needed to thank me, they’d have a difficult time doing so. Even better if I don’t know them AT ALL; like the person on the street corner, clerk at a store, deli sandwich maker, postal worker, kid standing in line in front of me in City Hall. I slip a gift their direction and take off, like a dog with a bag ‘o donut holes left unattended on the front seat.
And if you’re one of those folks who knows me VERY well, who didn’t send me a note of thanks, I forgive you (but WON’T forget!)
Tee hee.